Mixed Media
An honest look at some of my sketchbooks and the origins of my visual voice. This is where Doodle, Howdy, and my bubble font were born. I started most of these while sitting in my neighborhood brewery and abandoned them when my favorite people showed up. I have the kind of ADHD where a song is always playing in the back of my mind, so journaling them out like this was a way to scratch that invisible itch while also pondering WHY that particular lyric or melody was stuck in my head. It’s never for no reason.
Pick Your Poison – 2025
a quick 15 minute doodle before bed. I haven’t done much work in my sketchbooks lately, but this was a fun prompt from OKC Sketchbook Club’s Drawtober Challenge. I haven’t been to a meeting (I’m nervous) but their discord is full of sweet and talented folks. The prompt for day 1 was oak, but I wanted to play with the fact that oak and poison oak leaves look similar.
personhood is strange – circa 2022
Inspired by the bridge in “cinco de mayo shit show” by Marietta. The first iteration of Doodle.
howdy – circa 2022
The first howdy! This doodle led to my first requested piece! A buddy came up and said they wanted it in a disco cowboy theme. I got super excited about the vision, and completely abandoned the little green circles I was doing.
“let’s make the most of this beautiful day” – circa 2021
An ode to Mr. Rogers. There’s a cover of “won’t you be my neighbor” by Okey Dokey, Jordan Hull, and Spaceface that I fell in love with. I like to think he would’ve thought it was beautiful, too.
“you’ll be happy when you’re willing to share” – circa 2023
Inspired by “Cat Fantastic” by TTNG. I doodled this while in my final polyamorous relationship. For a majority of my adult life, I considered myself to be poly. When I moved back to Oklahoma (after being physically, verbally, and financially abused by my ex-husband) I vowed to never be in a monogamous relationship again. I seriously struggled with trust, though, and my last poly relationship bore the brunt of that. After meeting Jake, everything got much easier and harder at the same time. He didn’t want to be poly, and honestly neither did I anymore. We were both committed 100%, but I still struggled with trusting his intentions. I was hella paranoid, and questioned every little inconsistency (insert “Why You Asking All Them Questions by Spoken Reasons here). It took a long time (and therapy and meds) to fully trust that I was safe with him. Now, it’s an honor to get to share him with the world. He’s truly the best person I’ve ever met, but I don’t think I would’ve appreciated him and his particular way of showing up if I hadn’t experienced the relationship trauma I did.
“i get stronger everyday” – circa 2023
a doodle inspired by “Little Girl Gone” by CHINCHILLA. This song was my anthem for a hot minute. I was at a point where I felt incapable of standing up for myself. I tapped into this song for strength.
“how very dare you” – circa 2023
another doodle inspired by “Little Girl Gone” by CHINCHILLA. I’ve always been a lil feisty, but I consider myself to be a generally warm and loving person. There’s another lyric in the song that resonated: “I pack a punch backed into a corner”. I inherited my mother’s sharp tongue and I had a lot of shame around that. I didn’t believe that a loving person could have a sharp tongue. 2022-2023 taught me how to honor both of those aspects of myself. Now, when I’m backed into a corner and resorting to “violence” (extremely rare), I know that it’s an effective and necessary last resort. I’ve communicated feelings and set boundaries and met you with grace, and you’re still trying to come at me. Now there’s a mentality of “how dare you? I’ve always treated you with love and respect” that helps me leave these interactions with less guilt.
“you belong here” – circa 2021
I remember making this in Mesta Park after just moving back to Oklahoma. I’d gone with my dad to a Hide&Go bike meet so he could take my kiddo on the ride with him. I was happy to wait at the park and doodle, but I started to feel really uncomfortable when they left. I felt out-of-place, which was confusing because I had basically grown up in Mesta. My two best friends in middle and high school lived around the corner from the park, and we would walk there after (and sometimes during) school. I knew the only thing that was different was me. I’d been changed by the trauma of my marriage and it’s demise. I wasn’t sure if I’d be accepted back. I was afraid of being judged for how short my marriage was, or laughed at for being so foolish to marry someone like my ex. I had built a beautiful life, and bought a beautiful house.. but I had nothing to show for it. It had all crumbled and I felt ashamed. I was terrified of seeing someone who knew me “before”. This doodle was primarily a way to keep my head down, but also a reminder that I belong. This park was my home, and it would accept me whether or not the people in it did too.
“if you don’t have something nice to say then you’re not thinking hard enough” – circa 2021
Inspired by “4letterword” by OCTAVIO the Dweeb. I found this song shortly after moving back to Oklahoma. I was fighting the urge to be cynical and cold – and losing. I know this is a common saying, but in the context of this song, it seemed to suggest that you can be sad and confused and still kind.
“gimme my mind back” – circa 2021
Inspired by “I Miss The Days” by NF. This was an abandoned bar-top doodle. The original vision was to have cigarettes in the background. There was a point where I was basically chain-smoking my evenings and weekends away. I knew that things were really bad when I had to get a second pack within a week. I hated feeling emotionally dysregulated all the time. I hated how much time I spent smoking, or just thinking about when I could go smoke again. I was pleading with the cigarettes to let me go.
green and blue burst pattern – circa 2022
I went through a phase of loving illusion doodles. A marker had bled through the page and I didn’t want to waste it, so I used green and blue watercolor markers to cover the page. I was doing these little burst illusions everywhere – on any piece of paper I could find. Mostly sticky notes and note pads. I was excited to get to use a full page for one.
“used to bein alone & bored” – circa 2021
one of three doodles inspired by “January” by Verzache. The little apartment we moved into was so tiny and dark. It had two windows and was surrounded by units on both sides, as well as the back. It felt like a cave, which I loved at the time. It wasn’t great for hosting, so I didn’t. After work, I would go back to my cave and pretend I didn’t exist. I got so comfortable being alone that I really struggled to make and keep friends. I didn’t WANT to make friends, and folks could feel that. It felt like a never-ending cycle. This was an attempt at saying “I want to be close, but no pressure. I’m used to this”
“i was lost in space but now i’m in place” – circa 2021
one of three doodles inspired by “January” by Verzache. Made a little later in the year when I felt like I’d found my chosen family. I loved the people I worked with, and I loved the regulars at the bar we would go to. It felt like I’d finally come to a resting place.
“i’m savoring each moment” – circa 2021
one of three doodles inspired by “January” by Verzache. This was a reflection on the way our lives and circumstances are always changing. The lyric before this is “I know you’ll go in no time at all”. I found that in order to be fully present and appreciative of the moment, I needed to accept that it wouldn’t be like this forever. Deep down, I knew a lot of these people were not good for me. I knew these friendships weren’t built to last. But I still wanted to enjoy them while I could. This song fully occupied my brain that year. It was a great source of comfort. Doodling this song is what made me realized that comforting art has merit. Actually, I think it’s wildly underrated.
pink & purple line art – circa 2022
another example of my illusion doodles. It’s nothing special, but it’s always brought joy. It’s heavily influenced my brand and color palette for that reason.
“death makes a meal of us all” – circa 2021
inspired by “Wormmaster” by Duncan Trussell and Joe Wong. This is from his show The Midnight Gospel. I don’t think there’s a better example of divine timing than this show coming out in the beginning of 2020. It was a huge catalyst for me and my spiritual journey. It’s how I found Ram Dass, Jack Kornfield, Ragu Markus, Trudy Goodman, and others who have guided me. Honestly, I just think this song is sick as hell. I genuinely love the soundtrack. But this show put me on a path that has saved me many times since I found it.
brat berry punch – circa 2022
This was inspired by a comment a good friend made when I was being particularly bratty. We had a running joke about me being a brat. It was funny because it was true. I can’t even remember what the circumstances were, but he half chuckled/half scoffed and said “sounds like you’ve been sipping that brat berry punch”. I genuinely cackled and doodled this at the bar later, which made him cackle. We’ve since lost contact, but he was a major supporter of me and my art. The first person since my ex that I was truly excited to show my art to. I’ll always be grateful for his influence.
“i tend to freak myself out” – circa 2022
inspired by “Scrawny” by Wallows. This song made me feel so seen. It was another one that was on repeat. Every lyric is a bit self-deprecating but with an upbeat attitude of ‘yup I’m all of those things and you still think I’m cool’. I heavily related to the lyric “I’m a scrawny motherfucker with a cool hairstyle”.
“you’re something else” – circa 2022
This phrase was hurled at me as an insult, and this doodle was created right next to them afterwards. With extra hearts <3
“every body can do every thing” – circa 2023
Created using coffee that had gone cold and been reheated about 3 times already. I was pretty frustrated with my mind and my body. Thinking they were obstacles that I needed to overcome in order to be as productive as I was expected to be. It felt unfair to be in a body that was fighting against me while everyone else got to have bodies that seemed to be on their side. This isn’t true, of course. I’m not alone in my experience. But in this moment, it really felt like every other body could do every single thing I couldn’t.. Including something as stupid as finishing a cup of coffee.
“but have you invested in the point?” – circa 2023
A question that was posed to me during a lecture. It was rhetorical, but I genuinely wanted to figure out my answer. It was a lecture about changing careers and the sunken cost fallacy. It’s easy to look at all the time and effort that went into a career and want to protect that investment. This question pointed out that an investment in anything other than The Point (whatever that meant for us as individuals) wasn’t actually the investment we thought it was.
“i just need a moment in my own space” – circa 2021
Created while living in a one bedroom apartment with my kid who was 4 at the time. I was still reeling from the trauma we had escaped. I found it very difficult to be present with him in his loud and joyous obliviousness. I kept up the charade for a few months, but completely fell apart when we were able to settle. Everything made me so angry. I was angry all of the time, and any time I had to create usually ended in scribbles and frustration.
“don’t speak just listen” – circa 2023
Inspired by the song Lay My Claim by Rebelution. I have such a soft spot for songs that emphasize the importance of following your heart and paving a path for yourself as a creative. Bonus points if it give happy beach vibes.
“worry is a bully that just won’t let me be” – circa 2022
Inspired by the song Going Gets Tough by The Growlers. The song ends with the verse “Still always remembering when the going gets tough, that the labor of our love will reward us soon enough.” This one seems self-explanatory.
“I’m such a mess… oh well I guess” – circa 2023
Inspired by the song The Detail but Delta Sleep. One of my favorite songs and my favorite band. I’ve had the privilege to see this band twice live, and each time felt surreal. They’re sweet gents. They make rhythms that will utterly melt your brain. Getting to make album art for them would be the most biggest dream come true.
“can you hear me now or am I talking to myself again” – circa 2022
Inspired by the song Talking to Myself by Tawnted. This song felt more like a lullaby, and I think that’s why it stuck. I have a fear of being misunderstood, so this kind of statement would normally be shouted. This song was the first time I was confronted with the feelings that were deeper than that anger.
“why not me” – circa 2023
inspired by the song Why Not Me by the artists Biskwiq and Forrest. I often need to be reminded to enjoy the little things in life.
“A heart of courage and trust” – circa 2024
A quote from Trudy Goodman during one of her Dharma Talks. Speaking to the practice and how the goal is to cultivate a heart of courage and trust. I was (reasonably) skeptical of others and wasn’t being as vulnerable as I wanted to be. It was creating a lot of dissonance within me, and I was constantly fighting myself. I had been too trusting and it had almost cost me my life. Trudy’s teachings have given me courage, and reminded me that you can’t have trust without it.
oof
yeah.. oof.